When you are a beautiful person on the inside and don’t entertain sin, then that can invite jealousy and hate because beautiful people reveal the ugliness around them. And if people don’t want to change then you will always rub them the wrong way.
Don’t let this phenomenon scare you away from being kind, humble, and who God made you to be. For many years, I kept my light hidden because I was afraid that if I was good at anything, or too nice, or too happy, then it would offend someone. My childhood has many things to do with the reason I was that way but that’s another story for another time. My feelings, thoughts, and emotions were pushed so far down that I actually have lost chunks of memories from my childhood and teenage years. Somewhere along the way, I never actually developed a true identity, and everything I did, I did to please other people. I never noticed the beauty that God had instilled in me and I had no one to affirm it or bring it out in me; and I was not raised in church so I had no true spiritual context of anything. If this sounds familiar to anyone, keep reading.
If I knew something, I kept my mouth shut for fear of making someone feel dumb. I always downplayed anything I did if I was complimented. I made sure to keep my head down and never show anyone what I was truly capable of. I constantly did things half way for fear of attracting attention. I was the person who always let the other person win. I second guessed myself and assumed everyone else knew way more than me. I didn’t realize my behavior and emotions were stifling my true potential from God. In fact, I didn’t even know God yet. But He sure knew me and what He wanted to fulfill in my life, so He put me on a path toward Him.
You know the old song, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine”? Well, I didn’t let my light shine because I simply didn’t know how to be beautiful, so I kept my beauty hidden. Hidden under a bushel as the old song goes. There’s a reason why light is equated with beauty. Sunsets, moonlight, and light bouncing off the water. There have been countless amounts of paintings and photographs of these things because people consider them beautiful. Thomas Kinkade is called the “painter of light” because he is able to capture what other painters cannot. There’s something about looking at light that gives us hope and excitement. In fact, God is light and He is the only light in heaven. He illuminates all things and that includes us!
Beauty (both physical and internal) has power, and if you don’t know how to use that power in a Godly manner, then it can be dangerous. I learned that there is a difference between shining for Jesus with meekness and humility versus being afraid of being yourself and keeping your beauty hidden under a bushel. If this sounds familiar to anyone, I pray this blog encourages you, affirms your beauty, and brings out something that has been pushed down inside of you. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
After my 21 day fast in January of this year, God told me that it was time to brighten my lamp for Him and shine. Not with singing, preaching, and not on a platform of ministry, but with the spirit He has placed in me. I knew exactly what He meant and that it would require a holy boldness, but you know what? I was not going back to that little girl who hid her light under a bushel. My confidence is not in myself anyways, so I knew I had to obey. Then on National Youth Day, Pastor Alex said something that resonated with my spirit. He said that spirits attract each other, both negative and positive. So if you are wanting to gossip about someone, you go to someone who will gossip with you. Likewise, if you are needing prayer for something, you go to someone you know is a prayer warrior. Spirits attract spirits and certain spirits repel other spirits.
For example, two things that I personally loathe and choose not to participate in are gossip and slander. The definition of gossip is: casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. I know people say that as long as they are stating the facts about someone that they are not gossiping; however, if your statements cause other people to change their opinion about someone else in a negative manner, then that may not be gossip but it is slander. “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26).
God has called us as Christians to a higher standard and we need to allow the beauty that God has instilled in us to reveal the ugly. The best part is it doesn’t even require words. We can just simply walk away because light and dark cannot reside in the same place. Or the opposite will happen; people get quiet when we walk into the room because their spirit knows deep down that it is wrong and that your spirit doesn’t agree with it. People who don’t want to change may get angry and lash out, but that’s a risk we must be willing to take because God will equip us and give us grace for the tasks He calls us to do and all things are revealed in time.
In all my weaknesses, I am thankful that God has shown me that pushing down what He has instilled in me will not work anymore. Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m gonna let it shine! My prayer is that we can allow the beauty from the inside to shine on the outside so that it may spread to those around us, drawing them closer to Jesus and helping them become more spiritually mature. Be the light that God has called you to be! Be the person who walks into a room and all bad spirits have to flee. Hold yourself to a higher standard and allow your beauty to reveal the ugly. That is the Spirit of God living in you and all glory will go to Him! "No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:15-16).
That was beautiful Amanda! To me, you have always been beautiful inside and out! Jason chose well when he chose you! Keep on shining. We love you 🥰✝️
Amanda, I have always appreciated your inner beauty. You're a woman who deeply loves her family, her church and her God. I'm thankful for you and the beautiful heart you have to serve. I love you my sweet friend.