June 19th, 2023
Written by Angie Drummonds
“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” –Psalm 68:5
This is my second year writing for our church blog, and the second year my rotation has fallen on Father’s Day. Last year, I hesitated to speak from my heart on the Father’s Day topic. It’s a time to celebrate and give honor, so sharing my heart, I felt, would take away from that. But I realize there are many of you, like me, that don’t have dads to celebrate on Father’s Day, and that can be painfully difficult.
Maybe your dad was a wonderful father and you had a great relationship and losing him has been so difficult that you can’t and don’t want to even think about Father’s Day because of the reminder that he isn’t here anymore.
Maybe you have your dad here, but your relationship with him isn’t the greatest and you don’t really celebrate Father’s Day because of that strained relationship.
Maybe your dad was abusive and brought more pain than he ever gave you love, and Father’s Day is a reminder of everything your dad wasn’t.
Maybe you never met your dad and never experienced a relationship with him, so you don’t celebrate because you have never known what a real relationship with a dad even looks like.
Whatever the reason Father’s Day is difficult for you, I want you to know, it’s okay and you are not alone. So many struggle with the pain the void of a father leaves. I, too, understand how difficult it is to hear all the great things about dads, when my dad wasn’t any of those things. For a long time, I struggled to celebrate the day, even for my husband, because of the pain I felt. But as I prayed and asked God to bring healing to my heart, I began to see that being fatherless on Father’s Day was something I could acknowledge and mourn but that I could also allow God to fill the void and bring something good to it.
Regardless of what the voids are in our lives, God can fill them. Instead of concentrating on what we are missing or what is gone, we can focus and celebrate what we do have and what was.
For me, it was concentrating on the positives. My dad did give me life, and for that I am so thankful. I am thankful for all my cousins and family that I wouldn’t have without him. I am also thankful for the things that helped me become who I am today, even if some of them were extremely hard and painful. I am thankful that I learned to see God as my Heavenly Father and focused more on His love for me.
I chose to let God fill my heart with reminders that He was everything I didn’t have and more! God is better at loving us than even the best earthly father is capable of. God is close to us when our hearts are broken (Psalm 43:18); He brings purpose to our pain (Romans 8:28); God doesn’t abandon us; He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6); He teaches us and trains us in righteousness (Ezekiel 36:26-27); and He loves us so much, he gave His life for us (John 3:16)!
It is because of the love and grace of Jesus that we can have joy in place of our grief, forgiveness and peace in place of anger, bitterness and resentment, and understanding in place of confusion. And because of the healing that comes from God, we can celebrate our husbands and sons and other amazing dads who do what they should as fathers, who deserve to be celebrated and honored.
The same way God healed my heart as a fatherless child, He can also heal yours as well.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” –Psalm 147:3
“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” –Psalm 68:5
This is my second year writing for our church blog, and the second year my rotation has fallen on Father’s Day. Last year, I hesitated to speak from my heart on the Father’s Day topic. It’s a time to celebrate and give honor, so sharing my heart, I felt, would take away from that. But I realize there are many of you, like me, that don’t have dads to celebrate on Father’s Day, and that can be painfully difficult.
Maybe your dad was a wonderful father and you had a great relationship and losing him has been so difficult that you can’t and don’t want to even think about Father’s Day because of the reminder that he isn’t here anymore.
Maybe you have your dad here, but your relationship with him isn’t the greatest and you don’t really celebrate Father’s Day because of that strained relationship.
Maybe your dad was abusive and brought more pain than he ever gave you love, and Father’s Day is a reminder of everything your dad wasn’t.
Maybe you never met your dad and never experienced a relationship with him, so you don’t celebrate because you have never known what a real relationship with a dad even looks like.
Whatever the reason Father’s Day is difficult for you, I want you to know, it’s okay and you are not alone. So many struggle with the pain the void of a father leaves. I, too, understand how difficult it is to hear all the great things about dads, when my dad wasn’t any of those things. For a long time, I struggled to celebrate the day, even for my husband, because of the pain I felt. But as I prayed and asked God to bring healing to my heart, I began to see that being fatherless on Father’s Day was something I could acknowledge and mourn but that I could also allow God to fill the void and bring something good to it.
Regardless of what the voids are in our lives, God can fill them. Instead of concentrating on what we are missing or what is gone, we can focus and celebrate what we do have and what was.
For me, it was concentrating on the positives. My dad did give me life, and for that I am so thankful. I am thankful for all my cousins and family that I wouldn’t have without him. I am also thankful for the things that helped me become who I am today, even if some of them were extremely hard and painful. I am thankful that I learned to see God as my Heavenly Father and focused more on His love for me.
I chose to let God fill my heart with reminders that He was everything I didn’t have and more! God is better at loving us than even the best earthly father is capable of. God is close to us when our hearts are broken (Psalm 43:18); He brings purpose to our pain (Romans 8:28); God doesn’t abandon us; He never leaves us or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6); He teaches us and trains us in righteousness (Ezekiel 36:26-27); and He loves us so much, he gave His life for us (John 3:16)!
It is because of the love and grace of Jesus that we can have joy in place of our grief, forgiveness and peace in place of anger, bitterness and resentment, and understanding in place of confusion. And because of the healing that comes from God, we can celebrate our husbands and sons and other amazing dads who do what they should as fathers, who deserve to be celebrated and honored.
The same way God healed my heart as a fatherless child, He can also heal yours as well.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” –Psalm 147:3
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